盗德经
Introduction
1.
Proclamations of the Councils of Olive Garden
1.1.
Second Announcement Regarding Canonical Belief
1.2.
Third Announcement Regarding Canonical Belief
2.
The Old Pastament
2.1.
The Book of Midgets/Midgits
2.2.
The Creation of Mankind
2.3.
A Reading From the Book of Fusilli
2.4.
The Book of Penelope
2.5.
The Book of Linguini
2.6.
The Torahtellini Part 2
2.7.
The Story of the FSM and the Eastern Pirates
2.8.
The Book of Fearsome Pirate Pete
2.9.
The Tale of Dave and Kyodai
2.10.
Darwin’s Purge
2.11.
The Book of Thinly-Veiled Modern Practice Agreements
2.12.
The Random Number of Not Commandments, Suggestions
2.13.
The Book of Piraticus
2.14.
A Pasta’s Creed
2.15.
Ethical Guidelines for Pirates
2.16.
Frequently Asked Questions
2.17.
Pastalms
2.18.
The Book of ProvHerbs
2.19.
The Song of Semolina
2.20.
The Pastalamentations of Father Jerome
2.21.
The Revelations of Auntie Dee Dee
2.22.
The Book of Disco
2.23.
Pirates’ Effects on Global Warming
2.24.
The Book of Jeff
2.25.
The Book of Solipsy
2.26.
The Book of Emergent Patterns
2.27.
Revelations of St. Jason
3.
The New Pastament
3.1.
The Acts of the Apastals
3.2.
The Letter of Tristan the Martyr to the Future Generations of Society
3.3.
The Open Letter of Bobby Henderson to the Kansas School Board
3.4.
An Announcement Regarding the Afterlife
3.5.
Muellers 1
3.6.
Muellers 2
3.7.
Pirate Aaahhhhrrrrr’s Letter to the Privateers
3.8.
First Letter from Edd to the Forum Members
3.9.
Second Letter from Edd to the Forum Members
3.10.
First Letter from Edd to the Slackers
3.11.
First Letter from Edd to the Partiers
3.12.
First Letter from Edd to the Infallible
3.13.
A Letter from ADoS to the Dying
3.14.
The Correspondence of Captain Jeff the Mishunairee and the leaders of Hillel
3.15.
The Letter of Captain Jeff the Mishunairee to the Googlists
3.16.
The Letter of Captain Jeff the Mishunairee to the Rutgers Campus Crusade for Christ
3.17.
The Sermon on the Mall
3.18.
Qwertyuiopasd’s Letter to the Evangelists
3.19.
Revelations 1: The Book of Revealed Crapola
3.20.
Revelations 2: The Revenge
4.
The Official Pastafarian Prayer Book
5.
Final Thoughts from Olive Garden Council-members
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盗德经
Dedicated to St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Freakin’ Awesome Holy Texts
Cover Art by MonkeysInACan aka Captain Chris Taylor, Tigger_the_Wing, and Rev. Rowan Redbeard